Sup?

IM SO STOKED ON GRAVITY RUSH. Unfortunately I thought this was out this week. NOPE ;( oh well, one more week wont hurt.

Solid Jam.

(Source: mucheyemarveled)

one day…. this summer?

my brother passed away. I can say as horrible everything was, my family has been blessed in so many ways. I feel extremely lucky to have friends that have supported me and been in my life. 

I wrote this on posted it on FB to get my mind off of things a few days after his passing. 

Ever since diapers - June 3, 2009

I don’t know where to start.

I thought it was all a prank.
I got the phone call asking if you were my brother. then the doorbell rings. I thought you just got dropped off and forgot your phone.
I go answer the door and I see were on the ground, but everyone was standing around.
I stand next to you, and I see the scrapes on your head. I hear sirens.
I run in to tell my parents. “It looks like a concussion, he’ll be fine.”
They told me to stay home.
I watched Fight Club and fell asleep.

Mom woke me up and tells me I had to go to the hospital downtown with Pops.
Internal bleeding and bruising.
Surgery went good. It was just a matter of waiting.
But the surgeon didn’t say it with a good look on his face.
They knew something we didn’t.
The beeping, the machine doing all of your breathing. You were bandaged up.

I stayed optimistic.
The next day I go and they took off your bandages.
Seeing Mom cry, seeing you like that.
The beeping continued, new variations of it as well.
heart rate?, one of the machines not working? time for a change of something?

It drives someone insane. You can’t sleep in there.
I couldn’t sleep at all.
I couldn’t eat, and if I did I felt like I couldn’t hold it.
The texts from your friends, everyone wanted me to keep them updated.
Numbers I didn’t have. People I don’t talk to.
Seeing your friends come in and see them crushed.
They didn’t give up. The support from them and my friends.
I had to keep praying. I had to stay strong. I had to.

You would make slow progress.
We weren’t sure if you could hear us.
We weren’t sure if you could feel pain.
They let you breathe on your own, heavy and fast.
The swelling eventually went down. I was relieved.

Thursday night came. I was going to stay the night.
By then there was slight impulses, your brain was recovering.
Mom and Pops left. The nurses were working faster and harder.
First thing I noticed was that the respirator was doing all of your breathing.
They said they couldn’t control your fever unlike the other days.
We were asked to leave.
Doc came in asking where my parents were and to call em.
They told me to step in, they told me they shocked you 3 times.
They were performing CPR.
If they didn’t you’d be dead.
Your heart rate irregular, blood pressure was low, your body was shutting down.
They told me they couldn’t do anything more.
“I’m sorry but I’m calling it. The time is…….3:57 AM”
Everything stopped.
I couldn’t do anything.

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I had to tell mom and pops. “It would be better to hear it from a loved one than a stranger.”
“We’re so proud of you, you were so strong, I’m sorry it had to turn out this way.”

You’re at peace.
You weren’t suffering anymore.
But I only started to.
Our childhood memories, our fights, our jokes.
I had to be strong for the family.
The hardest week and a half of my life.
I keep getting told to stay strong.

I really don’t know how I’m still standing.

All I want is to hear you scream how you’re at the top of the Call of Duty match you were playing.
Trash talking your friends and complete strangers.
Acting like you were the toughest guy around.
Goofing and making fun of everyone around.
I was suppose to buy you drinks for your Prom night.

I wont forget a second.
I just miss everything.

You’re looking over us.
I know it.
You’re my brother.
I love you Alan.

The Girl (Taken with instagram)

Smoke Daddy (Taken with instagram)

Don’t forget to instagram before you eat. (Taken with instagram)

This looks wonderful.

Shrimps (Taken with instagram)

Ppeeeaacchhheess❤

(Source: tea-and-greens)

(Source: floppydopp)

(Source: busterrr)